It's 4 pm on Friday afternoon, and I've already had a hell of a day.

My friend Claudia at work likes to say she doesn't have bad days, just bad minutes. I like this attitude, and I'm working hard today to make it true for me.

Last night, after I got off work, I went to get gas. $50 later (man, I HATE that!!), I sped down the highway toward home intending to hit the grocery store on the way. Not five minutes later, the O/D light starts blinking at me from my dashboard. I have never seen this light before, because it doesn't ever light up. I'm thinking, Crap! What the fuck does this mean? and Will it be expensive $$$$$? Optimistically, I swing into the grocery store parking lot, hoping that when I come back out with a load of persihable items that my car will even start.

Just to tease me, the car starts just fine, and the O/D (Overdrive) light does not immediately come back on. Sometimes it happens like that, you know? So, I get back on the highway to head home. Halfway there, the O/D light comes back on, flashing a merry Christmas green, followed scarily by the caution orange Check Engine light. Grrrrrr.....

Today is my day off, since I switched schedules this week with one of the other girls, so I got up, took a shower, and drove my car to the shop. Dropped it off, and walked home, because it is a beautiful day. Sunny, breezy, and in full bloom. I used the time to hope fervently that the fix-it guy would call and say it was nothing major.

No such luck, my friends. $1200. One. Thousand. Two. Hundred. Dollars. Before tax.

And that's not even everything that's wrong with it!! The fix-it guy mumbled something about transmission leaks, and that they don't really work on that kind of thing there. But he'd be happy to fix my broken rear strut (which I think mostly holds up the back end of the car)!!!

I really hate cars. I hate having to fix them, or not fix them, depending. How do I know what's worth fixing and what isn't? I have to have a car. Where I live and work, its not really negotiable.

I expect the phone to ring anytime now, letting me know I can go pick the damn thing up and leave behind one of my most useful bodyparts in exchange.

See? Trying really hard to have only bad minutes today, not one whole lousy day.

I hope you know this means I'm going to have to put off my goal of visitng the Y by Saturday. No way can I afford the monthly dues there now. Not for awhile, anyway.

No, instead I'm probably going to have to get a second job. I need to get these damn credit cards paid off. They're stressing me out. Usually I'm pretty blase' about money, probably too casual really, but it's starting to get to me. I think I'll look for something in my neighborhood, that I can walk to easily. That way I don't waste more gas getting there.

I did spend a couple hours this afternoon making smoothies from all the luscious fruit and veggies I got at the grocery store yesterday. I put on my Footloose movie soundtrack record and pretended I was an aspiring chef on Hell's Kitchen, wielding my pretty red KitchenAid knives like a pro. I made a hell of a mess, but I've got enough to last me at least a week. So that was good. Positive. Optimistic, even.

Anyone got any winning lottery tickets they're not going to cash in? It would go a long way toward easing this awful knot I've got in my stomach. If I'm not careful, I'll give myself an ulcer. Or maybe I should just become a woman of action and do something about it.

I have this silk-screened tea towel in my bathroom that I got when I was in Florida last year. It has this blonde bombshell Pin-Up girl from the 40s, wearing a very tiny version of a sailor suit and hat and red peek-a-boo high heels that I've named Veronica. The caption below her says "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!" I liked her immediately. Every day she reminds me of the type of woman I really want to be. Veronica would definitely know what to do in a situation like this one. She would have known whether or not she should have the car fixed, or scrap it and get a new one with the money she would have spent fixing this one. Better yet, she would have had a guy she could call who would have fixed it for her, if not free of charge, at least at a really big discount. So, I'm still learning how to tap into my inner Veronica.

Damn it. I knew I should have said, "let me call you back" when the fix-it guy gave me the price.

Suckered every time...

Jinx